Relinquish
by Ren201
Summary: Deals with the death of a main character. One parter. R


Title: Relinquish  
  
Author: Ren201  
  
Spoilers: Season two. Everyone who was good originally still is. No evil doubles round here. Set after the SD-6 takedown, S/V.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Alias or anything else  
  
Author's note: Another angst fic. One parter, I don't think I write without angst? Sorry, I was in need for some sadness!  
  
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Sydney quietly shut her front as she entered the apartment she shared with Will and Francie. Grateful for the darkness that surrounded her, Sydney calmly moved towards her bedroom, trying her best not to wake anyone in the process.  
  
However, Sydney didn't make it to her bedroom, she only made it a few inches past the door. Sliding slowly down the wall behind her, Sydney finally gave into the relentless tears that had been threatening to overflow since she left the JTF. Cradling her head in her hands, Sydney began rocking backwards and forwards as the memories of what had happened came flooding back to her.  
  
She pushed them away, as far away as she possibly could. She couldn't deal with it. It was too painful to accept that it had really happened. Sydney roughly wiped away the tears from her face, trying to hide the evidence of her distress. Looking towards the door, Sydney squeezed her eyes shut, the memories of him were so real that she could still feel him there. She could still see him standing by the door, promising never to leave her again. She should have known. She felt that something was wrong. She should have known.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
Vaughn pulled open Sydney's front door as he hauled his suitcase outside. Quickly moving back into the house, he found Sydney pouting back at him. He didn't know what she was doing while he was in the shower, but now he knew. Vaughn felt his heart skip a beat when he saw her. He knew that she didn't want him to leave, but this ... this was definitely a reason for him to stay, and she knew that he wouldn't be able to make it out of the door after he had seen her.  
  
Vaughn watched helplessly as Sydney slowly took off her dressing gown to reveal some very seductive underwear. She'd planned this.  
  
"You're killing me here Syd." Vaughn whispered as he dramatically fell against the wall, watching as Sydney threw her dressing gown into the living room, while staring at Vaughn.  
  
"Then don't go. Please. Michael, I have a bad feeling about this." Sydney replied seriously, moving towards him, pressing her body against his, as she pulled him away from the wall, closing the door in the process.  
  
"You know that I have to Syd. Don't do this to me." Vaughn replied, as he found his hands creasing her body, unable to fight the need to be close to her.  
  
Slowly, Sydney wrapped her legs around Vaughn's waist, planting kisses along his jaw and down his neck.  
  
"I'll be back for lunch tomorrow." Vaughn replied as he spun Sydney around so her body was pressed between his body and the wall.  
  
"Back. Tomorrow." Vaughn muttered as he pulled Sydney into a better position.  
  
"How comes you don't wear this stuff more often." Vaughn asked, changing the subject, as he pulled Sydney into a passionate kiss.  
  
"Because I need to save it for when you're being bad." Sydney said, half laughing, before she continued,  
  
"I knew that you weren't going anywhere." Sydney whispered Vaughn discarded her bra, and moved onto more ... pressing matters.  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
A harsh light pulled Sydney out of her thoughts; she hadn't heard the clattering of her roommates as they tried to find their keys. She hadn't noticed the laughter that followed the door cracking open. She hadn't even noticed when the laughter abruptly stopped. All she saw was the harsh white light.  
  
It was Will who noticed her first. It had gone midnight, and the night was slowly dwindling away into the early hours of the morning. He had expected her to be in bed, most likely with Vaughn, but she wasn't, she was crumbled on the floor next to her suitcase. If he hadn't have seen her, he would have tripped over her, as Francie almost did.  
  
Sydney's head slowly meet the eyes of her two roommates, noticing the shock and concern welling in their eyes, Sydney tried her best to make a quick recovery and hide her broken state.  
  
"Oh. Hey guys, I thought that you were in bed." Sydney mumbled as she pulled herself up from the floor, trying her best not to stumble as she did so. Francie immediately rushed towards her friend as fear rose through her body. Neither had seen Sydney like this before, she was always so strong, they relied on her strength. Yet, there she was, standing before them, a broken woman. Neither had any idea what could reduce Sydney into this state, but both intended to find out.  
  
"Oh my God. Sydney what's wrong?" Francie exclaimed as she pulled her into her body, trying her best to comfort her friend.  
  
Sydney fell into Francie's embrace, as the tears overcame her body once again. She couldn't talk; she could barely breathe. She felt so numb that she could even move. Within seconds Will joined Francie's frantic attempts to calm Sydney as they pulled Sydney's shaky body towards the couch.  
  
Both Francie and Will saw the pain her eyes, and they knew. They knew that something had happened. They could see from the look in her eyes. It pained them to her like this, and they could barely stand to look at her. She radiated such agony that they could almost see her heart breaking before them.  
  
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It had taken them 2 hours to calm Sydney down enough to talk to them. It had been two long hours filled with painful torment for all of them. Neither knew exactly what had happened, but they could feel Sydney's immense grief.  
  
"Syd. Tell me what happened." Francie whispered gently into her hair as she gently rocked back and fourth, finding this to be the only way she could stop the tears from falling. Will sat with Sydney curled up on his lap as Francie comforted her. All he could was gently rock with them as Sydney gradually calmed, sending her into a trance like state.  
  
"He's dead. He's dead. They killed Vaughn." Sydney whispered quietly, as she moved further into Will embrace, pulling Francie with her.  
  
Both friends stopped momentarily to absorb the information they had been given. Neither had event thought of the possibility that Vaughn would be dead. It was the last thing they expected. Now they understood.  
  
"He's dead because of me. It's all my fault. He's dead because of me." Sydney whispered, squeezing her eyes closed, trying to block out the images of him that she would usually welcome.  
  
"What happened Syd." Will questioned delicately, hoping that he would cause her any more distress.  
  
"It should have been me. They wanted me. He shouldn't have. They wanted me." Sydney breathed as the tears reappeared, trickling down her face, as Francie moved to wipe them away.  
  
"Who. What do you mean?" Francie asked, suddenly confused by the situation. Why would someone want to kill Sydney, she worked at a bank for crying out loud!  
  
"They said it was Sark. They said that... " Sydney responded, trailing off, as she moved out of her friends embrace's and began to pace the room.  
  
"Sark? Does he work at the bank? Who told you this?" Francie asked silently, hoping to find out exactly what was happening.  
  
If this had been a different situation, Sydney would have laughed at her friend's naivety, but it wasn't. Sydney didn't respond to Francie's question, instead, she continued.  
  
"They won't tell me anything else. All they said was that it wasn't my fault. They lied. They knew that it was; they knew that it should have been me. Why would they do that to us?" Sydney cried, pulling her hand roughly across her face, and then through her hair.  
  
"Sydney, this doesn't make any sense. Who did this?" Francie asked again, hoping her friend had the misread the situation and that she was over reacting. But Francie knew Sydney, and that was what was scaring her the most.  
  
"Why would the CIA do this? Why would Sark kill Vaughn? If he wanted me then why didn't he just come here?" Sydney questioned, as she slowed down her pace, collapsing onto the floor.  
  
"Why would the CIA kill Michael? You work at a bank. I don't understand." Francie suddenly said as she moved towards her best friend, but was stopped by Will.  
  
"I can't lose anyone else. I ... I can't lose him. I can't." Sydney stated, pulling her knees into her body.  
  
"Leave it for tomorrow Fran. We need to deal with one thing at a time, and right now, she needs us." Will responded, as he moved towards Sydney once again, picking her up. Francie motioned to as Will carried her silently to her room, placing her carefully onto her bed. Just as they were about to leave her, they heard her call out to them.  
  
"Don't leave me alone. I don't want to be alone right now... stay." Sydney pleaded as she fell prey to the exhaustion that was taking over her.  
  
Francie and Will stayed with her that night, and held as she cried herself to sleep, both hoping that tomorrow would be better.  
  
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Sydney awoke suddenly, taking a moment to realise what had happened, but when she did, the pain hit her like a knife through the heart. Sydney felt the tears start to fall again as her shoulders began to convulse. .  
  
It had been a week. A week since Francie had found out who her best friend really was. Yet, neither knew the truth about that night. Sydney had refused to talk about it, so the subject was off limits.  
  
Since then, Sydney had refused to leave her bedroom and would spend her days staring out of the window, or sitting on the bed talking to someone who wasn't there. They would watch her as she quietly mumbled things into her pillow, and now, they knew things would only get worse. She had stopped crying as much now, but they knew that the worse was still to come. Today had been the day that everyone had been dreading. Today was Michael Vaughn's funeral.  
  
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Sydney told a long breath as she stood in front of Michael Vaughn's coffin. She had requested that his mother not have an open casket, she couldn't bare seeing his face again, the pain was just too intense. Sydney stood for at the front of the church for what seemed like hours, grateful for the distance the mourners had given her. It wasn't until Mrs Vaughn approached her that she remembered why she was there.  
  
"Sydney. Everyone's waiting." Amelia Vaughn whispered as she moved beside her, gently, taking her had in her own, gently squeezing it as she saw the tears well in Sydney's eyes.  
  
"I know. I can't. I can't say goodbye to him." Sydney silently whispered as the tears began to stream down her face, unaware that the entire church could hear their conversation.  
  
"I know. Neither can I, neither can I." Amelia replied tenderly, placing her hand over Sydney's on the coffin as Sydney realised a single white rose from her grip. Watching the blood drip from her hand as she pulled away the thorn, both women watched the blood fall effortlessly onto the coffin.  
  
"It hurts to breathe without him. I can't say goodbye. I can't accept that he's gone. It hurts too much to stay here without him." Sydney spoke, as she let her head drop slightly, and allowed the tears fall onto the coffin of her soul mate.  
  
"I won't promise you that the pain will go, because it won't. After a while, you'll be able to manage the pain. It won't be easy, but you have no choice." Amelia announced, as she released Sydney's hand and moved back towards her seat, preparing herself to bury her son.  
  
The church sat in silence as Sydney stood by the coffin a moment longer before slowly moving towards her seat, allowing the service to continue.  
  
Sydney held back the tears through the pastor's prayers and stories about Vaughn. She held back the tears as she watched Amelia Vaughn say her final goodbye to the son she promised to always love. And then it was her turn. Sydney took a deep breath before she stood and made her way to the podium before her.  
  
"To say that Michael Vaughn was amazing would be an understatement. Without him, I wouldn't be here today,  
  
"He was always there for me, he has saved me so many times and now my only regret is that I wasn't there to save him. He should not have been the one who suffered. He was too good too die that way. He deserved so much more than he was given. He risked so much and lost more than he should have." Sydney stated, as her voice began to cracking under the emotions that were weighing down on her.  
  
"It was said that best friends are one soul trapped in two bodies. Vaughn was my soul mate, and now without him, I know that each day will be that little bit harder to live with. In this life, we see darkness and despair, and now, the one person I had left who could take away all the pain and suffering has left me. I always thought that he would be there for me, and I never thought about my life without him. To me, Vaughn will always be my guardian angel, and I will never forget him. He was my present, and now, ... he is my only future." Sydney finished as she silently looked over the crowd before her, as she walked off of the platform and down towards Amelia Vaughn.  
  
"The day that the CIA lost faith in Vaughn was the day that the CIA lost me. I will never forgive them for what they have done to me; I will never forgive them for what they have done to Vaughn. I will make it so that they live to regret the day they sent Michael Vaughn to his death." Sydney stated, knowing that everyone could hear her as she spoke, not caring about the looks of sympathy and shock she received.  
  
Amelia Vaughn rose from her seat, and pulled Sydney into her embrace, as a familiar song suddenly filled the air of the church. As Sydney pulled way from Amelia Vaughn, they stood watching as six men rose from the pews. Moving towards the coffin, each man helped to lift the body within the coffin, as they began to move down the isle towards the graveyard.  
  
I didn't hear you leave, I wonder how am I still here,  
  
I don't want to move a thing, it might change my memory  
  
Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want, but I can't hide  
  
I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me  
  
I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me  
  
I don't want to call my friends, they might wake me from this dream  
  
And I can't leave this bed, risk forgetting all that's been  
  
Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want but I can't hide  
  
I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe until you're resting here with me  
  
I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me  
  
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A/N: Song 'Here with me' by Dido.  
  
R&R 


End file.
